VIVA LA MUSCLE PUNK

Last month we released The Hate Tape. NARC magazine liked it so much they made it their demo of the month! How nice. One quote in particular makes me smile: “THIS BAND IS TEN THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN YOUR SHITTY BAND.” Nothing like brutal honesty, and who said good journalism is dead? We photo’d it, so you can read it here.

We’ve got a handful of new songs written. We’re playing them to perfection, and some of them have made it to the stage show if you caught our tour last month. We have no current plans to record, but the general idea is to stick them on a split with another band. Watch this large, vacant space.

Did you know we’ve now started to release an officially unofficial bootleg collection? Oh yes, you heard that shit right there. We’re recording gigs and putting them up for free download online, because who doesn’t like free shit? You can find them all on Last.fm when they get added and more will be added as we gig more, fucking obv. Make sure to tag that shit as Muscle Punk.

Keep your eyes peeled for gigs in October. I heard a dirty rumour we might be playing with Hang the Bastard in Middlesbrough – but you never heard that from me.

- Bish

THE HATE TAPE

On the 9^th September we’re finally unveiling The Hate Tape. We’re releasing it in a limited supply and by limited, we mean limited. Limited as in “it’s pretty much sold out already” limited. Yeaahhhh, you best get on that quick.

True to its name The Hate Tape is being released in cassette form only. This is so you can all go out with boom boxes and play it obnoxiously loud whilst shimmying down the street. Each cassette comes with a link for the mp3’s too, just in case you like the prospect of owning something that doesn’t physically exist. Don’t be pulling the old “But I ain’t gots no cassette player, yo” card on us. We know you have it stuffed in your loft along with the entire Spice Girls discography on cassette – don’t be shittin’ us.

You should totally buy it because, in the words of one reviewer, “if you don’t get [The Hate Tape], you’re a fucking idiot.” The review then ends with “Buy or die!” Let’s weigh the options here: you can either buy an awesome cassette or you can risk a sudden IQ drop followed by death. I’m sure the £2 asking price seems reasonable. You wouldn’t get this sort of life treatment on the NHS, I can tell you that much.

You can - and should - order the tape online here. There are four different covers for the tape, each one designed by a member of the band. As the most important and artistically gifted member, you should definitely opt for my cover (it has a fucking dog on it!!1!!1!).

The more direct (and much more sociable and friendly route!) would be to buy it on the tour dates we’re doing in support of the tape. We’d love it if you came up to our merch stand and said hi, but you know, if you want the brief exchange of cash for goods to take place in utter silence, we’re totally down with that too.

Here’s our September. Pen these dates in your iCal, it’s gonna be hateful:

• September 10th: Head of Steam, Newcastle w/40oz
• September 12th: The Old Blue Last, London w/Grazes + Golden Tanks + Hospitals
• September 22nd: The Brickyard, Carlisle w/The Computers + Back Jash
• September 23rd: Riverside Café Bar, Sheffield w/End To Empires + End Reign + Speak Up + In Arms

I expect to see each and every one of you there, boom boxes on shoulders, hair slicked back and shades worn indoors. Remember: you’re all cool kids now.

Stay hateful,

- Bish

TATTOO ADDICT

This month we’ve been invited to play at Doncaster racecourse for Tattoo Jam. If you didn’t know, Tattoo Jam is the UK’s biggest tattoo festival. If you did know… well good for you.

We’re playing on the 7^th, but we’ll be hanging about for the entire festival. The place is gonna be packed, so instead of trying to find us in the crowd just get our logo tattooed on your face – that’ll make it easier for all of us.

BBC Tees are playing some of our new tunes this month too. They’re all taken from next month’s release: The Hate Tape. If you listen on the evening of August 17^th you will hear a brand new track called Lies (You’ve Turned This House Into A House Of). Also if you tune in on August 25^th you’ll hear our 23 second epic ballad: F-Bomb.

I hope you’ll agree with me when I say both songs are prime examples of family friendly radio rock and I’m sure most listeners will revel in delight as the songs play. EMI, I hope you’re listening. Together we could be something amazing.

Here’s how our August stacks up. I know for a fact you’re doing nothing better with your time, so I expect to see you attending at least one of these dates:

• August 5th: Tattoo Jam Festival, Doncaster Racecourse (Hangin’ this day)
• August 6th: Tattoo Jam Festival, Doncaster Racecourse (Hangin’ this day)
• August 7th: Tattoo Jam Festival, Doncaster Racecourse (Playin’ this day)
• August 28th: Tiger Lounge, Manchester w/Glasses + Wode 

Stay miserable,

Bish

KING KONG AIN'T GOT SHIT ON US

Last month we played a gig at The Fishtank in Durham with a bunch of Swedish bands with names we struggled to pronounce. Two of the songs we played were recorded and uploaded online: F-Bomb and One-Oh-One.

We’re not too busy with gigging this month; instead we’re mostly over at Green Dragon Studios recording our new EP: The Hate Tape. This release is going to be mind blowing, so you best grab onto something before it lands, else risk being propelled into the stratosphere.

Once we’ve finished recording, we’ve got two live dates where we’ll play some of our new shit.

• July 11^th – Recording The Hate Tape
• July 13^th – Recording The Hate Tape
• July 15^th: Head of Steam, Durham w/Curses + Last Words of the Brave + Foundations + This I Believe
• July 28^th: The Fishtank, Durham w/Crows + End Reign + Grace + Hades

Turn up and make havoc.

- Bish

HALLOWEE-EE-EE-EEN

Last month when we played down in Kingston at the Fighting Cocks we made an agreement with a nice man to record our live set in exchange for some money. Despite taking our money though, he actually fucked up a large portion of the live set and just delivered the damaged goods to us instead. You can see what he did manage to get here, here and here. It gets bearable about halfway, but the entire end section of the set is missing.

A review of that particular gig also turned up online saying we "play fast punk all the way through." You can probably see that from the above videos. Or at least you could if the entire thing was filmed. Yes, I'm bitter. So fuck.

This month we’re playing our second and final tribute set tothe Misfits. We’ll all be donning devilocks and I’ll be mumbling incoherent noise and singing away from the microphone (I have to move away to breathe). This won’t be the same set as last time, so you can expect any classics we missed before to raise their heads here. We won’t be doing this again, so make sure to get on it.

We’re also playing our first festival, Middlesbrough’s Make A Scene Festival. We appeared on last years Make A Scene: The Album release, but didn’t actually play as we hadn’t quite got off the ground back then. We’re ready this time. Come party.

• June 1^st: The Fishtank, Durham w/Risposta + Evidence Smrti + In Evil House
• June 2^nd: The Crown, Middlesbrough – Misfits Tribute Gig Pt II
• June 25^th: Make A Scene Festival, Middlesbrough
• June 30^th: Basement, Middlesbrough w/Last Witness + Breaking Point + Grader + Grace

 Come walk among us,

- Bish

THE "BECAUSE WE CAN" TOUR

This month we set out on a mini tour for one reason and one reason only: because we want to. We have nothing to release and nothing to promote. We’re just gonna turn up in your city and play for the sheer hell of it.

We’ve also reached a landmark point. This month will make Misery Addict history for having our first gig outside of England. Granted, it’s only Wales (nothing personal, Wales), and it’s only just over the border, but hey, we don’t care. It’s not England, which is a welcome change in our eyes.

We’re gonna be near you at some point. And if we’re not, then it’s up to you to position yourself so that we come near you:

• May 4^th: Bad Medicine Rock Club, Middlesbrough w/Grazes + Foundations
• May 8^th: Fighting Cocks, Kingston w/Hang The Bastard + Abolition + Final Rage
• May 9^th: The Grosvenor, London w/No Coast + Cusswords + Selfloathing + Screenviolence
• May 10^th: Central Station, Wrexham w/The Computers + Make Like Madeline + Last Baron

As is usual Misery Addict standard, we’ll be taking a giant cache of free CD’s. Times are hard, unemployment is rising and well, people are cheap. Our limited freebie “Don’t Like My Art?” will be available on this tour, so make sure to snap that up and pass it about like some sort of STD.

- Bish

MANIC PUNKS

A review of our first EP just cropped up online, only a year late. It calls us “Pissed off, manic punk from England,” which I’m not going to dispute. You can read the review here.

It’s our drummers birthday this month, and we’re all heading into Middlesbrough dressed as GaybrahamLincoln. You should join. We all know you're into that shit anyway.

On April 29^th, we’re playing a gig in Middlesbrough at The Ironopolis. This gig is being recorded live, so you should turn up and shout abuse at us. If you shout loud enough, you might just end up on the record. Check our dates:

• April 18^th: Westgarth Social Club, Middlesbrough w/Broken Teeth + Climate of Dear + Emeritus + Look Alive
• April 29^th: The Ironopolis, Middlesbrough w/J.B.B.S + We Are Sharks

 Stay pissed off and manic,

- Bish

SOLID BALL OF PUNK

If you’ve been living under a rock, or any sort of heavy object that would isolate you from society, you may have missed our release of The Deserter. Don’t worry, all is not lost, you can check it out and download it for free here.

During your extended isolation from society, you may have also missed the fact that we released a tasty 7” split with Leeds based powerhouse Beasts. Don’t worry, all is not lost! You can still order a copy from our store. We’re so good to you.

Another review has cropped up online for the split, claiming “[the] split works so well, both bands have their own sound. Everyone should get this.” You can read the whole review here.

We’ve only got a few dates in March, so be vigilant:

• March 3^rd: Westgarth Social Club, Middlesbrough w/Pariso + Rosa Valle
• March 6^th: The Fishtank, Durham w/Kapykaarti + Winds of Genocide + Blagg
• March 18^th: Liberties, Middlesbrough w/Massacre On Broadway + The Departed + Climate of Fear + Shortcuts

Be there.

- Bish

THE DESERTER

This month marks the release of our second EP, The Deserter. We’re releasing it for free, because we’re nice like that. Nobody else treats you this good, don’t let anybody say otherwise.

The Deserter comes out on February 15^th and it’ll be available here when it drops. We released a new tune from it called “Shoot for Your Lives!” which you can listen to over here.

Meanwhile, the reviews for our 7” split with Beasts keep rollin’ in.

Pushtofire.com called it “INTENSE LISTENING”.

“Thanks, It Came As A Set” called it a “fine example of UK hardcore today.”.

Punktastic.com said about the Misery Addict side that “GBH influenced guitar riffs provide the solid groundwork for some interesting gang vocals and strong structure.”

I Heart Noise decided that they, in fact, do not heart noiseand damned us as being “profanity laden punk” and proceed to misquote oursongs.

We sold a shed load when on the supporting tour, but we’ve still got some sat in the Misery shed. You could totally do yourself a favour in life and order a copy from here. It’ll bring enlightenment. Honest.

Here’s our February. Please note that not only is the gig on the 5^th a house party so make sure to ask before turning up. We’ll be playing in the basement. I have no fucking clue where the guy lives, so don't follow me.

• Feburary 5^th: Some dudes basement, Headingly w/Sweet Empire + Rip It Up + Grazes + Mouth
• Febuary 6^th: Westgarth Social Club, Middlesbrough w/The Arteries + The Living Daylights + Beasts
• Febuary 26^th: Fighting Cocks, Kingston w/Hang The Bastard + Breaking Point + Wardogs

Don’t desert us now,

- Bish

WANKTASTIC

We’ve only got one gig in January, and that’s only because we had a hankering for some good ol’ fish and chips. We’re playing with a band called The Wankys, and if that’s not a good enough reason to show up, then nothing is.

• January 7^th: The Fishtank, Durham w/The Wankys + War All The Time + Toecutter

Start the new year in style.

- Bish